Cheese~ a random word, eh? These coming days im gonna eat plenty of cheese... Alone... In my room... Doing... Uh, stuff. My family's going to kl for 3/4 days. But that's okay. I have another family in my school. Not really a family, but i like to call it though. Heh, it's Still in progress. I envisioned a happy family... Where everyone smiles and enjoy school. But what i really like is to see her smile, and for her to be happy... Actually, she's the only family i got for now...

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I hope that my name's gonna be under the music cca tomorrow. cca is the best place to find people with the same interests as yours, and my interest is to form a band. a band... maybe we'll right our own songs. heh, i dont mind performing for free everyday in the lobby.

Its strange how music can pull you up or pull you down. The melodies can go deep into you. from your ears to your heart. If you ever find yourself lost, sad, stressed out, i'd recommend to anyone to hear indie rock genre. some of the good bands are the summer set, the maine, meg and dia and tonight alive. life is a playground. go have fun. do what you love. and excel.

Sadness? Despair? Mixed emotions bubbling inside me. Feeling a little like dejavu. The last time i felt like this i got left behind by the person i adore. Ah yes, i remember walking with her, talking as we walk. For about 1 month i'd spent doing that. I got caught up with that until i realized i fell for her. That is, until i found out she already had a man. Ah, that broke me. To see her walking with her man, ignoring me even if im right in front of her. And to think she was lonely. Never judge a book by its cover. Thankfully, as time passed by, i moved on. But this is not the same. It is difficult to put into words. Trying to please her and at the same time careful not to temper with her heart. She will always have my full support.

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I had a great day today. Mostly because i spent my ps with her. Its the first time that she wants to hangout with me. I just hope she had a great time too...

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ideas can be a dangerous weapon, if you know what im saying. If someone agrees upon your idea, they will support you. And when you have support, you have power. If it builds up, you can do anything you want. So long as you have support. Recently, ive been viewing people as a threat. Heck, ive always been that way. Mostly because of their facial expressions. This defies the very code i believe in; looks can be deceiving. Sometimes, i sense hostility in the air. Especially near a group of people. Gangs if you want to put it that way. Because of this, ive always been a loner. Not wanting to accept people. Even in class, i dont participate sometimes. Criticsizing people of what they are. Lame, dull, boring, but mostly lame. Maybe this is because of the lack of originality in their activities. As the quote says; been there done that. Maybe if i accept things as how they are, ill enjoy them. Become more positive. And with that, more stronger and brighter. But ive always been picky with... Everything. Girls, friends, teachers, books, games, cartoons etc. Things will change, if i believe it will and do something about it. Things will change...

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hang on. that's what i've been telling myself. things will change. they always do. even now, i could feel it. things are changing. school has, life has, and friends. so hang on, to life.

2nd term

so tomorrow school starts.... nooooooo! i havent achieved anything during the holiday.. havent arranged my sleeping time =.= usually i sleep like about 2 in the morning. and wake up about... 10. oh sh%t! gotta sleep!

Light is blinding my eye. Is it trying to kill me? or distract me. Whatever its objective is, i do not know. It relies on it's friend, the light bulb. "For what do you want, thou shall have it" I said. Silence. "speaketh you, for i-yeth know you-eth can-eth,". Still, silence. Is it mocking me? Am i not worthy of even its voice? Or doesn't it understand me. "Apa kau mau, sang lampung?". Again with the silence. I give up. Trying won't make a difference. Restlessness starts to overtake me. I guess, silence is what it wants. I have no choice now. I tried to avoid it but, i guess its time to hit the off switch...

2nd term is about to start. i still havent decided whether i should go to jis or not. though it seems like im more in favor of going to jis. i still havent finished my homework. looks like its gonna be a long day tomorrow. i'll try to finish the aict assignment today. ugh school works...

Angel Beats! one of those anime's that would leave you depressed or sad that it has ended. I tried to avoid watching animes as it always makes me depressed at the end of the title. But, i couldn't resist the cute girls, the well constructed story and most of all, the love they developed. Why? Because it is what I'm searching for in the real world. But to replicate what happened in the anime is literally impossible. Thus watching animes would create like a second world where you could escape the normal routine of the real world. and with that, i'd say life isn't perfect, but we'll try to make it so...

Its march now. time pass by so fast, and i haven't accomplished much. Everyday, i look out the window, trying to figure out what has changed. It's all the same to me, but now i know that things do change. As time pass by, we are changing goals. pursue-ing goals. People come and go in our life. That got me wondering. What are we going to do after our goal had been achieved? Eternal rest(death)? Sometimes i question myself what are we doing in this world. Religion wise it would be to worship god, until the end of time. But what then? After the end of times, we get judged and then sent to heaven and hell, to live forever then. As though there is no such thing as eternal rest. All we could do now, is wait...