It's been a long time since i blogged (not really). Finally, the assessment week is over! freedom! (again, not really) So... recently, there was a lot of changes. First, my crush said the word that i never really thought would be possible. Yes. It's hard to process it at first. Like someone hitting you in the head with a shovel, the world stopped turning. I tried to rewind what happened. But life had no rewinds. only dejavus  I never thought it would happen. She was right. If you put your mind into just about anything, you could accomplish it. One thing appears after another. After you accomplish something, sometimes you get stuck. Lost. Afraid. Dreams are made from goals, and in my case, goals were never meant to happen. i was a right back in football anyway Now, i intend to keep things as it currently is. Trying to keep the relationship, and also to keep my studies in check. I keep saying to myself not too long ago, that if i ever have a relationship, my first would be my last. It is, nearly impossible. But possibilities are endless. picking up a pen could result in an earthquake. Whatever happens, I'll just do what i think is right. Second, There is no second. I merely want to say the first

Random story #2:
     Madness had struck in the city of Kardol. Everywhere Barthos see, his visions were met with flames. These were no ordinary flames, as they were as blue as the sea but hotter than normal fires. He tried to recall what had happened before any of this event occured....

      6 hours ago. Business were flowing as usual. At the town centre, people were doing about their normal rountine. Farmers came to the town to stock up their fertilizers, Hundreds of people came to different stores to buy their neccessities. It was another day in the town square. A large scream was heard at the edge of the marketplace. When Barthos turned he was surprised at the gore violence of a commoner beheaded by a hooded man. The victim was dead before his decapitated head thump the ground. The marketplace suddenly got quiet. Everyone, shocked to see the raw carnage of a man getting his head cut off. Much to everyone's surprise, there was another scream. This time, it was more than just a voice. It could be easily be misinterpreted to be a choir... TO BE CONTINUED

The sky darkened. The light dimming. It was a new look for the compound. Beautiful in a way. Yet the people who ventures around it were not affected by it. The air was tense by the pressure radiating from the students. Assessment was still in progress. Only 2 more, then things will go back to normal. Or not...

I have a lot of respect towards SMSSA students. most of my friends are from that school. well, most of my friends who i like (not like-like, get the point?). Although the students from SMSSA in meragang are the senior batches, i still have a lot of respect for them. They are, from my village, or neighboring village. I think of them as kinsman. It is nice to hear that most of them got good o level results. At least i still know the rules of engagement. You respect them, they respect you back. Even though i didn't go to that school, i had always wanted to. Since the whole spn 21 thing started. 2 years suffering... 2 LONG years...

One week. I just need to seriously study for one week. I missed hanging out with her. No matter, its just one week. My cousin had his birthday party today. Sadly, i didnt come. Instead, my dad brought us to see act of valor. Its an inspiring movie and has a lot of heroism in it. Moral of the story is to be brave. When death comes, dont hesitate to embrace it. Just do it. A teacher once told me that when you study, dont plan it. There is no mood in studying and never will be. She is absolutely right. Im trying to do just that.

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Problems. The topic for today is problems. Everyone have problems, though some don't seem like they have one. People tend to hide it. Some people share their problem, to lessen their burden. One of my problem is tests. Every test i got its always on the border line. Its started when i first hated ms. I thought it would go away if i changed school but old habits die hard. Another problem is misinterpretation by people. Whenever i walk/hang around with a girl, my friends give me a creepy smile, and started teasing. No matter how hard i try to tell them the truth they just don't want to digest it. Lately i've been dissapointed at myself. I can't seem to concentrate. I know i can do better at studies, and tests. I think there's too much distraction. maybe. I wanna be alone for a while. to get my bearings back. But i can't risk seeing her sad. I just can't...

9th april 2012. I've attempted to confess to her how i feel about her. It was a poor attempt to say the least. On and on imaginations have been playing on my head on how i should tell her for weeks. No matter. I just want her to know. I dont expect anything to happen. Its just nice the way things are now. Its also nice to know that she's been keeping facts about myself. Heh, im quite surprised. Two more weeks until the assessment week. Its a good time to start.

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These past few days, school is getting bussier. Tests are going about and first assessment is coming. So, vigorous studying should be at least a week before that. What else is new... Ah! Nothing... To past this un-updated times, i will be writing random stories. Feel free to comment in the chatbox or something. Random story #1:

The sky reflected the sea. Blue in colour, but they can't reflect their movements. That, makes the sea so unique. The tides created by the moon made the sea so... wave-ey. Everywhere you see there's only water, and at the edge of the earth the sea and the sky meets. Although it is beautiful, it houses many of the deadly predators. There are also rumours of creatures as old as the dinosaurs, waiting for an unfortunate victim to strike. The sea... In all its beauty, has also an insidious side. As all light has their own darkness...

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Feeling another vibe again... This time, is from fate/stay night. Recently i've been rewatching every show i've watched ( except school days. That show is too depressing). How should i describe the female protagonist of fate/stay night? She was a noble, who became a servant fighting in a holy grail war. Her eyes were evergreen, which shines during the night filled with confidence and determination. She carried the burden of her country in her shoulder, always wanting the best for her country. Her posture was straight and she was well mannered, as expected from a noble. She wears an emotionless face, which was in a way beautiful. She has a golden hair, neatly tied in a shape of a petal-less flower. Even though it is ironic that a noble became a servant, she didn't care, because she was summoned to protect, and protect she did. Rest in peace, king arturia.

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Lets see... today my family just got back, school's getting busier and i got an electric guitar! Just what i'd imagine it to be...Awesome. So... school. I think things are pretty much ok. I'll just increase my effort of studying. At least i don't hate school as i used to. Oh, yea, Meg's birthday was yesterday. Happy Belated Birthday Meg!!! goodluck in life, and in music.

People say Brunei is blessed. I agree. We dont experience over-population, insufficient food, riots, and all the other stuff the whole world experienced. We dont even have debts (country wise). So why do the people still complain? Why do some people want to move out? In my opinion, its because we crave for more of what we dont have. Its just within our nature. You'll never appreciate what you have until its gone. Majority of the population likes to keep up with the trend. Say, you have an iphone, and recently the new generation of iphone comes out. Most of your friends got that. And to stay in the same level as them you bought the new one. But do you really need it? I'd say no. Need and want is an entirely different thing. Like my friend said, "don't believe in the devil". (actually its supposed to be 'give in' but who cares)

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